Rules for the Debates
These have been agreed upon, (by the candidates, at least- the networks are still haggling) see here, and there are some surprises! For one, each candidate wil be given not just a "wireless lapel microphone" but "also an identical microphone to be used as backup per industry standards." They may move around only in there "predesignated area" and "may not leave that area once the debate is under way." (I am imagining right now the candidates being affixed with those electric fence collars for dogs and Al Gore getting shocked back to his "predesignated area" as we wandered over towards Bush in 2000.) For Cheney-Edwards they will be seated, "in swivel chairs that can be locked in place." In case of what- unruliness? I can see Cheney droning on about something, only to be interrupted by a spinning Edwards, gleefully shouting "Whee!" as the circular motion of his unlocked chair causes wind to run through his trademark fly-away hair. He will be grinning boyishly until an unamused Dick Cheney announces "That will be enough! Lock him down." The Secret Service now takes over, and a subdued and immobile Edwards struggles the rest of the way. Score one for the old man.
"Each candidate shall determine the manner by which he prefers to be addressed by the moderator." If I were Kerry I might go for "Mr. President" in the hopes of confusing the matter. How about Bush is addressed as "The Greatest Living American" or "Our Beloved Leader." Maybe they meant it differently, like say...every statement addressed to Bush has to be in the form of an answer, like Jeopardy. Kerry's are all in quotes from movies or something. I'm just spitballing.
Okay, maybe all of this stuff is standard is every agreement like this. Like when I close a mortgage and it seems like every little thing is covered. But I mean, good gracious. Were the Bushies going to try and sabotage Kerry's microphone? Was the Kerry campaign really going to sabotage Bush's podium by writing something on it- "Bush Sucks!" It all seems a little silly. See 'em on Thursday.
"Each candidate shall determine the manner by which he prefers to be addressed by the moderator." If I were Kerry I might go for "Mr. President" in the hopes of confusing the matter. How about Bush is addressed as "The Greatest Living American" or "Our Beloved Leader." Maybe they meant it differently, like say...every statement addressed to Bush has to be in the form of an answer, like Jeopardy. Kerry's are all in quotes from movies or something. I'm just spitballing.
Okay, maybe all of this stuff is standard is every agreement like this. Like when I close a mortgage and it seems like every little thing is covered. But I mean, good gracious. Were the Bushies going to try and sabotage Kerry's microphone? Was the Kerry campaign really going to sabotage Bush's podium by writing something on it- "Bush Sucks!" It all seems a little silly. See 'em on Thursday.
posted by Scott L. Stuart at
11:05 PM
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